How do you feel when you believe you are powerless to change something in your life?
When I REALLY WANT something to change and feel powerless to make it happen, I feel defeated. I feel the negative self-talk hit me like a sledgehammer…
“If I was better/smarter/prettier/etc., then that would have turned out differently.”
Or so I tell myself.
I don’t feel capable or in control. I feel a mess of emotions, often anger, towards others for arbitrary things. I need somewhere to put the blame besides myself. That’s the hard truth behind the curtain.
So when can change start to happen? It’ s often once I am able to reach for hope and refresh my mind and thinking. It’s then that I can recognize, “Oh, I actually can’t control everything, and that’s more than ok.” That realization takes a lot of the pressure off me that likely shouldn’t have been there in the first place.
Letting go and allowing others to help me both strengthens my trust in others and lightens my emotional load. Recognizing myself as a capable human who can do some things really well and who definitely needs help in other areas, actually helps me feel less alone and more hopeful. I can persevere through struggle, knowing that help is there if I ask for it.
Change in our lives CAN happen, if we are willing to learn from and let go of our own past mistakes. It can happen if we open ourselves to new ideas from people who have had different experiences than us. It can happen if we want it to happen; the question really is whether we want it or not. If I don’t choose to change, then I won’t – it really is that simple. To quote Leo Tolstoy, “Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.”
Flowers are a good reminder of how change can be beautiful. These ones are from my garden.