The Loving Hopeful Version

It’s a rainy afternoon.  The dog is curled up on the couch next to me, napping the day away. A soft, blue blanket covers my legs.  A Harry Potter movie I’ve seen countless times is playing softly in the background.  I sit here checking emails and researching things, a vast world available to me from the comfort of my living room.  

I am currently recovering from hand surgery, forced to stay home per the doctor’s orders as my job is too physically risky to perform in my current state.  It turns out, you can’t really lift a toddler when you have full use of only one hand.  Changing diapers is also tricky.  Not to mention, the unknown but pretty much guaranteed calamities of taking care of kiddos.  For example, a child grabbing the wrong hand and pulling too hard, unintentionally undoing all my surgeon’s careful repair work.  Like I said, just too risky.  Nanny life is my jam, but I’ve had to take a break from it for now.  

I first began writing this post about 12 days post-surgery. It has now been about a month and a half since the surgery, and I can honestly say I have been in mostly good spirits.  I am allowed to use stationary gym equipment (anything where there’s a handle to rest my hand on… so cardio for the win!) and that has definitely helped keep me sane.  I’ve been able to read a bunch and start this blog, which has been amazing for my soul. I have been able to stay caught up on laundry and other household things – which has been helpful for my husband as he started a new job. I’ve had the chance to hang out with my puppy, go to doctor’s appointments, catch up with some family and friends, and most importantly: REST.  I miss the boys I work with every day, but I know they are in good hands… and mine aren’t so good right now.  Literally.

This afternoon, it strikes me anew how very many things for which our hands are useful.  Here’s my list, in no particular order, of those things: 

Where I’ve landed today… is grateful.  Grateful for hands that have done so much, and still have more to do.  Grateful that I have this time of recovery, to become more grounded in the goodness of life.  Grateful that though I am limited in what I can do right now, I can still do some things and my recovery progresses a little more each day. I am so grateful for the family I work for and their understanding through this time (if you guys are reading this, thanks for being so great to me.) I am grateful for my husband’s love and support (often via snuggles or bringing me a cup of coffee). I’m also so grateful for my family and friends who have offered encouragement and spent time with me while I’ve been home.

Isn’t it a wondrous thing when we can feel ourselves in a bit of a rut or going through something really hard for us, but we are able to look hard and see streaks of beauty that remind us of what is good?  I can’t help but think that this is a crucial part of the human experience, and something that connects us to ourselves and to each other.  

Look at your hands.  They are amazing.  Stretch them, clench them, snap your fingers, clap a bit, shake them about.  Those hands have touched lives.  Don’t forget that.  

Grateful today,

Sonja K.